HIROAPHASIC: Verbing My Nouns

David: *holds out a ginger candy* You're not going to eat this? I left it for you.
Hiro: Oh! I didn't notice. That's all that are left of them? I thought there were more.
David: You're missing the point, you've got entirely the wrong focus. The point is there is a candy which I have left for you.

David and I were watching an episode of The Office on the internet. I was knitting and he was, um, watching, when suddenly:

David: *pauses the set* Let me ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me...Do we need icecream? Because, on the one hand, we'll be fat, but on the other, we'll be delicious.

H: "Hey look what I got! " *I hold up my new book, Vogue Sewing*

J: "Vague Suing?!"

David: "YES. Like 'Oh!-I-am-so-angry-about-that-thing-you-did-that-time-with-all-the-money-so-i-am-suing-you!' ?!!"

That previous post? Yeah. That was an enormous photo mosaic. That LJ eateded, and then wouldn't poop back out. I was so frustrated, I just let sleeping dogs lie, and called it a damn day.

It is like pushing an air bubble, trapped under wallpaper. It's just going to crop up somewhere else:

( Somewhere Else )

Ahhh, delicious. Nuts. Seriously, what is it about today that is reeling in the random drama? I mean left field. Way left. I have had a long, tiring day. People, did you know? I am kind of boring. I read a lot and knit a lot and I make food and love my friends. I pay bills and go to bed early and miss julip really very much all the time. The above photo of an extremely concerned looking Frédéric+carrot pretty much sums up the internal face I made about people, all day today.

In other news, this journal is now locked to replies from anyone other than those on my friends list. Anyone want to join my friends list? Go right ahead!




Meanwhile, the fall Knitty is out! I am knitting an awesome cap for David! And ravelry and coffee are the bosses of me. Respectively. The Copeland Twins are coming to visit! And Kevy...whenever he gets paid! Life is good, people are odd, and I love you, family. I need to get some sleep.


please, please- not to come in winter. You'll be sick?!

I put two fingers up over my head like antennae and pretend like I am holding a drink in my left hand, then:

Hiro: JUL! What am I?!
Jul: Um. A bug! No wait, A CHICKEN! WAIT! NO! Me?

"Signe, she was not to be loved like a pastry, no, she was to be lifted by strong hands, up towards the heavens and towards the light where she, purest of all angels, belonged."

This is a line lifted directly from a novel about Danish settlers in Argentina, which David is translating from Danish to English. I give it to you as a nice, clear example of all that is good in the world and continue by adding

"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or as a pastry,
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul..."

Julip, girl, this is how I feel about you, and gateaux forêt noir.

There's a lot of people, you know, burning, for each other in this book. Everything that David translates I have to proof, and this is turning out to be a bonding experience for both of us. We spend a lot of time mulling together over the bizarre and incomprehensible motives of the main characters in the text and console ourselves with the idea that not a whole lot of people are going to be massively compelled to read a saga about Danish settlers in Argentina. The female lead in the book is especially gratifyingly inchoherent. In one, far too memorable chapter, we come upon her standing on the plains, staring out into the far distance mulling deeply on her past. She is watching a figure ride toward her and thinking about how things were so much better/different/innocent back in Denmark, when she was a girl, and pure and etc, for something along the lines of six pages. After we've traversed the long, whining, and boring sweep of her childhood and not-really-explicable marriage to another character, we come back to find her
still standing
watching
a figure on the plains riding towards her.

David pointed out then that it was basically the literary equivalent of that scene in Monty python's quest for the holy grail, where Lancelot is charging the gates of the castle for an eternity. Anyhow.

As some of you might have heard, coffee is now truly the boss of me. At the beginning of this month I started working at Nespresso. I've been drinking nespresso coffee for the last 4 years now, and I like it immensely, so this is not a bad place for me to be working. Also, it is not the most challenging work in the world, which in my case right now, is a serious plus. It is wonderful for me not to have to through the hassle of being independent (Here in belgium, if you are basically freelance you get the status of independent, and pay more taxes than you ever imagined possible) One has to clear above a certain level of income in order to make being independent a profitable/stable venture, and I am certain now that I could never actually clear that watermark teaching. Others, for certain, could, but not myself. So, now coffee is the boss of me and I am thusly gratified.

You would think my new job would mean security, or I don't know, puppies, but no. Mostly to me it means shoes. I mean, I did a lot of shoe buying with my first pay but not nearly as much as I'm going to. Believe me. The shoepocalypse approaches, and we quake in its shadow and despair.

May 30th was my birthday! And for my birthday weekend we had a big drunk party! With lots of friends and I got a headcold! Stewart came from Scotland with his girlfriend Gin, and Frédéric up from Paris and Mari from DK. I got a lot of presents that I hadn't expected and I also got to snuggle people a lot and give them all headcolds. *joy*




AND HERE IS MY GIGANTIC PHOTO POST ABOUT THE LAST MONTH AND A HALF!




( All and Sundry )




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And that is a SHORT summary. Because I don't post enough and also suck! Hey Copelands! Tonight we're having dinner with alex's boss! I will REPORT, i swear it.

And, um. So forth. Go about your business.

Well, here I am again, sort of. Since the break in at our flat we've been sharing one computer (thank you, bjammekke!) and somehow that is not conducive to internet-touching. (Pretty much my biggest vice is Internet and that goes double for David, one computer are sad.) We are neither of us great shakes at letter writing, and neither of us very focused in general. So, neither of us have been uber communicative of late. Blame life and scared-of-tefalone. Also: Lazy!

Well, not quite lazy. That would be unfair of me to say. Really, it is being a little shaken up by the past six months though. I am currently looking frantically for a job that is NOT TEACHING. I really don't want to teach English anymore. David and I have also been trying to take it slow because back in January, the odd tinnitus/sporadic hearing loss he had been having in one of his ears spiraled into terrible vertigo attacks that left him stranded on the sofa or the bed for hours, the world spinning around him while he fought the nausea and disorientation. A round of visits to the GP turned up nothing out of the ordinary, and then the EN&T specialist put him through a series of tests, broken by long stretches of waiting and hoping he wouldn't have another episode. The longer it took though, the more sure everyone became that David doesn't have any actual 'disease' as such. What David most likely has is Menières, and it is idiopathic, meaning they don't know what causes it. It is more a cluster of symptoms and it is possible, likely even, that there are more than one trigger/cause.

While we were happy to know that he doesn't have a tumor, or any other life-threating disease, we haven't been exactly cheered by the news. There is very little to do in the way of 'treating' Menières, at the most doctors can offer medication for the vertigo that may or may not decrease the severity of the attacks, and later they can offer hearing aids for the eventual deafness that will likely develop. (Everytime there's an episode of vertigo, the excess fluid that is causing the middle ear to flip out is likely damaging the tiny machinery of hearing in the near vicinity. Eventually, enough damage is caused to bring on moderate to severe hearing loss.) The good news is that as the disease progresses, the vertigo might start to go away, the bad news is, if it does it will do so at the price of David's hearing.

Menières is not well understood, and there have been several cases in which it just seems to go away, and so we're hoping of course that will happen for David. There are a lot of internet resources and groups, too, that have people sharing their experiences and what worked for them to help control the vertigo. So, that is what David and I have been doing lately. We've been trying to hunt down his triggers and also to calm down about all of this. The extra stress can't help and so we're being positive.

Anyhow. I think this sums it up pretty much:








David and I went to Denmark for his littlest brother's Non-firmation and his Grandmother's 85th birthday. For those of you who can read between the lines, yes, that means ALL THE DANISH ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TRAINS AND ALL THE BUSES. It was wonderful, as it usually is, to see the family and get all the hugs and eat all the snacks, but there was almost too little time to do it in. I really enjoy going someplace for a week, and staying just there, not traveling from place to place so that all your time is eaten up in stressing over packing up and moving on. I would love to have just one whole week spent with just Trine and Ole, and then later a whole week to spend with Palle and Lene.

This past long week end, David and I went to Antwept to spend the weekend with the Filip and the Bjam. There was also surprise visit from Tommeke and Noodle! And KATJES who were not as amused by Noodle as we were.




( Summer Antwerp )

And that about covers it, for the last week or so. MY MOTHER GOT ME A NEW CAMERA FOR MY BIRTHDAY! Thus, I have returned from the inter-dead once more to stomp around viciously on yarns and floors! EVERYBODY THANK MY MOTHER.

Hiro:*singing* "Gettin' crazy with the cheese whiz!!!*
David: "The 'Cheese Whiz'? *Skepticism* Is that someone you know?

  
Connor Synnott
   1974-2008

http://www.rte.ie/news/2008/0305/synnottc.html

I just wanted to comment on that pleasurable ahhhhhh moment, when you just get something and it feels akin to relief. Like, for me, joggless stripes, or non-reinforced steeks in fair isle jumpers. 

I've been sick lately! Do you know what that means?

And:



 

And you know what? I miss LJ. No I mean for reals. I miss it. Colour me amazed. The things that have happened in the last bajillion weeks can't be covered extensively, but I can hit on a few main points.

• My mother and father generously offered to buy David and I a bed. Armed with my gift-allowance and my best bed-choosing skills, I braved the much-peopled wilds of Ikea on two separate occasions. First with Jul, then with Bjam. (I wanted to buy the bed before David came back from Denmark, back in, oh, September)
  
  Now, I was determined to get a bed with a foot board. Things with low corners+me= Super bruises . If I can spot them (read: "If things are generally around eye level, or just barely below it") I can scrape by with one or two blue marks per month. A bed with a prominent foot board means less damage to HiroKnees, Legs, and Thighs. However, I might pay toll on UpperArms, Shoulders, and Back (I do on our doors, already.)
  
  When I first went with Jul, he mentioned to me the general un-comfortableness of foot boarded bedsteads. He mentioned, conscientiously, that he would rather not have one on a bed. However, while taller than me, he is not so very much taller. I could still justify a footboard. Later, when I went with Bjamekke, he backed up Jul's call on foot boards and is much taller than me and reminded me that David is, too. So...

( Stompybruisybleedyyarnywtf )

From http://www.alexyssktylorvaginapower.com/akt/members/1/blog_4.php

"We need to realize that we have a chakra system, aura field and pure science in our Vagina and use it to change our lives and our world for a better future for our children."

That is right, people. We need to change the world using the pure science in our vaginas.


Vajing up the house.

(hint: it is me.)

Here we have three Danes, pretending to be a Dane, A Norwegian, and a Swede. Hereafter, the aforementioned parties shall be known as:

Kalle(Dane:Hat and Glasses)
Sjel (Norwegian:Red suspenders and white shirt)
Björn(Swede:Big Beard and guitar)

[Music]
B: In a little boat we sit and kiss,
K: In the middle of Oeresund sit two queers in love.
B: A moment of love on Oeresund,
K: Kiss me with your full beardy mouth,
B: Of course, my Danish friend. [Eskimo kisses. Beardy mouth.]

B: For we are humping out on the sound, it is our secret tradition
K: We cuddle a bit, and stroke gently
B: And taste a bit on each other's wieners. Taste my weiner. [Sjel rests hand on Björn approvingly]

K: Hey now! What is that? A boat is coming closer...
B: Look! The Norwegian flag! There is a lonely man, in that boat.

S: Hello there. My name is Sjel. Shall I be welcomed and warmed here tonight?
K: Oh why yes! Naturally!

B: For we are humping out on the sound
S: It is good, to be three! The boat rocks a little
K: We hump gently
B: And you best believe we're getting it, in the channel.
[All, benevolently ] In the channel.

B: Yes! For we are humping out on the sound
S: May I puff upon your worm?
B: Yes! Munch upon my branch until it is clean
K: And hold me and tell me I'm your cuddly bear!
[S&K, affectionately] Our cuddly bear!

[Humming and Saw]
[Sausages]

[All] Yes! we are humping out on the sound!
S: We're having a big homo convention!
K: You are so beautiful
B: May I see your cock?
S: You certainly may. I have no trousers on.
[All] No trousers on.  [Trousers, thumbs up]

[All] We have been humping on the sound!
K: And we've done bum gymnastics
S: I'll see you again
B: Adieu my friend,
[All] And next Saturday, we will be humping, on Oeresund,
Once again.
Once again...
[Saw] [Joy]


Hi everyone, David is home!

Today the bread in the market was so fresh, it felt less like bread and more like a sign. Like benediction, almost.

'You know you shouldn't find it funny but you can't help it. You want to laugh and you want to cry- a bit like being molested by a clown."

-Ross Noble