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September 2011

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I was just sitting here with my coffee, thinking about how much i love coffee, when coffee started giggling and whispering little nothings in my ear. I glanced at it suspiciously, and it asked me to lean in a little closer.

"What's that, coffee? I didn't hear you."

And that is when coffee punched me in the teeth. "Coffee! Why would you do that?!!"

"Have you ever thought about how much like your bestfriend your boyfriend looks?"
"Dude, coffee, of course I have."
"You need to document that shit."
"I already did! Why did you punch me?!"
"Cool. Just checking. Put it on THE INTERNETS. Things are more real when they are on THE INTERNETS."

And then coffee got all quiet and introspective. Fucking hell. I love you coffee. What is your problem?!

Look, you have to watchout for EuroBoyfriend. If you are not careful it will just roll around in leaves, get arrested by black kids, and do a creepily spot-on impression of someone related to your bestfriend. It will also have no respect for cannons and flip around all over them looking like gumby. Looking like gumby if gumby were designed for a italian advertisement campaign.

Whatever, I told you.


"Do you know why we are smiling? It is because we are tricking you into thinking we are related!"

I like to call these two the "What the fuck is wrong with your mouth!?!" pictures:

"Whatever, don't think about it- look at my hands."

Yeah, they piss me off too, dude.

"Pray on it. We are exactly six centuries too old for this kind of crap"

By now, if you are not creeped out you are maybe not looking close enough.


and here is where Ender looks like he is helping the little dudes arrest bram. ALEKS YOU ARE SO SMALL.

Oh man I should have let them arrest it and take it to North Ave.

Because it is exhausting.


and sometimes my feet look like hooves.





Can i just point out for posterity that those photos being placed so close together (of me flopping) makes me look like an awesome midget?


You are an awesome midget.
that canon is the A-Number-One plce for getting arrested for the PUBLIC SEX in baltimore. for all the years! please be using the moist towelette for sanitary purposes. euro boyfriends may now have the cooties on both continets!

ps i love you and that city! shikataganai...
i want to go to japan.
those are some hottt shoes you gots there, sister.

but i am SOOOO CONFUSED by the top half of your midget picture! What the hell is happening with your arms?! Where the hell are they going?! IT IS LIKE THE DEATH OF PERSPECTIVE!!!!
It is hiro-on-a-cement-divider-flop-over! It are hard!

i will show you insides like you have never seen before...

*psfhtfthhh crackle* Pagin' ladies and babies to your bunghole! *pssht* "babies and ladies, would you please report to timmy's "office"? Ladies and babies, please report to Mistor Timmy's "office". Thank you." *pssht*

*tiny girl boner* *dances*

Re: i will show you insides like you have never seen before...

my aorta is raging-hard for you.